Bring your fellas to Couples counseling
I’ll likely get hammered for a politically incorrect stereotype here, but let’s face it that at least 90% of the time women are dragging men to couples counseling. More than that, I often see women in my office saying things like, “my husband doesn’t want to come so I will just do some work on myself.” I commend you, ladies. But, while any good couples counseling will most definitely include individual time and personal work, relationship issues: 1. need to be worked out in relationship, and 2. usually don’t get better if both people aren’t committed to doing the work.
Continuing on with the stereotypes, I’ll add some self promotion. It’s pretty safe to say that most therapists are women. Lots of them are great. I’ve had women counselors who have been invaluable in my growth process. I, however, am a man. And I think that allows for a dynamic that is uniquely beneficial in the couples counseling arena. Ladies, since you are the ones reading this blog and thinking about showing it to your partners, let me assure you: I have solid emotional intelligence, I cry at commercials, and its my job to listen, be kind and non-judgmental.
That being said…
Fellas, your relationship is worth it. Counseling is not going to be all sappy. You are going to learn a lot of practical tools that work. I like to drink a few beers and watch football too, and I yes I will talk shit about Boston sports dynasties. I also ski, am learning to hunt with a bow, played college sports, am a husband and father of 3 kids under 8, am responsible for providing for my family, have a mortgage, etc. I get it.
I’m being kind of cheeky here, but the point is that the baseline mandatory skill package that comes with my profession usually appeals to women. But the things that make me unique might just make it also appeal to men. So, send me an email if your relationship is an a rut and you both think its worth reviving.
Another p.s. Since some are looking for this: I don’t/won’t get involved in legal proceedings. My “loyalty” is to both individuals in the couple, and the couple itself. I will not choose sides. Let’s talk.
Michael Boyle Therapy
#wholehearted by design
Neurobody Exercises (NBE) & Personal Facilitation Tools (PFT)
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